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(web design) Clients from hell

January 5, 2010 Leave a comment

Lisa just sent me a blog with a very funny collection of anonymously contributed client horror stories from designers:

http://clientsfromhell.tumblr.com

The really funny part about those stories is that anyone who has worked with non-technical clients, has heard more or less the same kind of silly comments:

  • Client: We like the design, but could you make the blues all the same.
    Me:
    It’s the same blue throughout the design.
    Client:
    It looks like different blues.
    Me:
    That’s because colors are perceived differently dependent on neighboring colors.
    Client:
    That’s stupid.
  • Me: A basic web page will cost around $1000.
    Client:
    Oh my, that is more than what we want to pay. My nephew is in Vo-Tech and I can get him to do it for $100.
  • Can you make each page on our website fade in and fade out when you click on a link? You know…like PowerPoint?

And if you are working as a software engineer/architect, the stories get even funnier: I once worked as a freelancer for a large Organization. Even though they had all the money in the world, they refused to install Oracle, so we had to develop their OLAP solutions over {a free DBMS with no support for anything that resembles a data warehouse}. The arranged payment was more than satisfying, so I had no problem implementing everything from scratch. A few months later, our system was able to perform roll ups and drill downs, and produce complicated aggregation reports using numerous dimensions.. The problem? A month after deployment, they complained because the (super heavy) yearly report (by week, product type, department and some other parameters) was taking a couple of minutes to generate! How can you explain to them that typical OLAP operations take more than 10 secs in order to finish even in the best tuned DBMS????

If our daily encounters were similar to what we are facing in the “software development business realm”, the result would be hilarious:

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On the meaning of Lorem ipsum

August 20, 2009 1 comment

Where have I seen this phrase before? I am sure that I remember it from somewhere…

Of course, now I remember! It is part of all those Latin “gibberish” that can be found in any web design template! You can even search Google for “lorem ipsum” and find all those (thousands of) sites that got uploaded in hurry and the creators forgot to replace everything in the pattern 🙂

But what does it mean? Why is it so widely used by every designer? Is it some secret inside joke?

I must admit that I never had the time to thoroughly think about those questions. Until I accidentally found today a web site dedicated to telling the story of “lorem ipsum” (and making some money while doing so, but who am I to judge?):

“… Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry’s standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book … Contrary to popular belief, Lorem Ipsum is not simply random text. It has roots in a piece of classical Latin literature from 45 BC …

Quite an interesting set of facts and a nice story to tell in (geek) meals…

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