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(web design) Clients from hell

January 5, 2010 Leave a comment

Lisa just sent me a blog with a very funny collection of anonymously contributed client horror stories from designers:

http://clientsfromhell.tumblr.com

The really funny part about those stories is that anyone who has worked with non-technical clients, has heard more or less the same kind of silly comments:

  • Client: We like the design, but could you make the blues all the same.
    Me:
    It’s the same blue throughout the design.
    Client:
    It looks like different blues.
    Me:
    That’s because colors are perceived differently dependent on neighboring colors.
    Client:
    That’s stupid.
  • Me: A basic web page will cost around $1000.
    Client:
    Oh my, that is more than what we want to pay. My nephew is in Vo-Tech and I can get him to do it for $100.
  • Can you make each page on our website fade in and fade out when you click on a link? You know…like PowerPoint?

And if you are working as a software engineer/architect, the stories get even funnier: I once worked as a freelancer for a large Organization. Even though they had all the money in the world, they refused to install Oracle, so we had to develop their OLAP solutions over {a free DBMS with no support for anything that resembles a data warehouse}. The arranged payment was more than satisfying, so I had no problem implementing everything from scratch. A few months later, our system was able to perform roll ups and drill downs, and produce complicated aggregation reports using numerous dimensions.. The problem? A month after deployment, they complained because the (super heavy) yearly report (by week, product type, department and some other parameters) was taking a couple of minutes to generate! How can you explain to them that typical OLAP operations take more than 10 secs in order to finish even in the best tuned DBMS????

If our daily encounters were similar to what we are facing in the “software development business realm”, the result would be hilarious:

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